I am here to do cool stuff with kind people who give a damn.
Jokes on purpose
Snowed-in News
In January 2018, Raleigh got enough snow to shut down the town. I got bored enough to write late night monologue-style jokes and record myself reading them on Instagram. An unexpectedly positive response prompted me to challenge myself to write and publish 5 jokes a day for 100 days straight, which I did. I took a long hiatus and now do them on a roughly weekly basis.
Spacklegeist
Like all white guys in their 30s, I’m legally obligated to make a podcast. Mine was a 50-episode run of a DIY and home improvement advice podcast that answered very real questions with very terrible advice. Currently on hiatus.
@AcademicTitles
Academia, like any field, is full of jargon and in-group nonsense. To cope with being in grad school, I started tweeting fake academic article titles as jokes. It struck a chord with academics and built a nice little following, with submissions and examples of real articles found in the wild.
Elsewhere on the mic
The Great Durham Pun Championship
The Regulator Bookshop in Durham, NC hosts The Great Durham Pun Championship at Motorco Music Hall every year (pre-COVID). I’m the reigning and 3-time winner, though the first of those was a 3-way tie with two contestants (pictured left) in a semi-final round that didn’t resolve itself after 20+ minutes, so the judge called it. My OCD manifests in a lot of ways, and one of those is puns, so this kind of feels like cheating, but if you find an entertaining use for your broken brain, you might as well explore it, right?
Up Top! with Matt Morain
My first podcast was an interview show with non-famous people because I wanted to get to know my friends better. It ran for a few dozen episodes over a 3-year stint, and I’ve since let the hosting lapse, save for the second interview I did with my parents to try and figure out exactly where things went wrong with me. You can hear it on SoundCloud.
Emcee and host
Do something well when asked to and you’ll be asked to do it again. In 2013, I was tapped to host trivia for an office holiday party; since then, I’ve hosted many more trivia nights, Halloween costume contests for thousands of people, Battles of the Bands, film screenings, Q&As, interviews with one CEO and a roast for another, and one time I introduced Weezer, which made 12-year-old me freak the freak out.
Hands-on experience
Up Top Woodshop
“Fine, good, and not-so-good wood goods.”
I started tinkering aroundd in woodworking a few years ago, then bought a fixer-upper, so basically I started hoarding tools and ended up a DIY Smaug. Check my Instagram for the gallery.
The DIY-NO-MITE Challenge
In January 2018, I filmed a reality show web series pilot for Lowe's as 1 of 2 woodworkers competing to make a homeowner happy. The loser's piece got blown up with dynamite. (The show did not get picked up.)
Virtual game show, anyone?
In 2020, when everyone on my team started working from home, I wanted an excuse for us to still safely get together without the dreaded mandatory “virtual happy hour” catch-all. I developed “Popcorn Smarties: Everyone’s Favorite Movie Trivia Game Show!” based off of Doug Benson’s “Leonard Maltin Game.” Basically, what if “Name That Tune” was done with actors and movies instead of notes and songs? I’ve since run it a dozen or so times for friends, family, and more coworkers, and if you have 3 contestants and 75 minutes, I can run it for you too.
Words
Funsies, mostly
I have a few bylines around the internet on sites that don’t publish anymore (like The Toast) or don’t exist anymore (like Slacktory) and I’ve thrown up a few pieces on Medium because why not.
”I’m a scholar, Mother. I enjoy scholarly pursuits.”
I spent 6 years in grad school and came out of it with Major Depressive Disorder and a few published lines on the ol’ CV. The CV doesn’t do me much good now, but like with all historical relics, it reminds me of the past and what it took to get me here. If you’re a real weirdo about corporate voice and tone research, you can also check out my published dissertation, but I’ll warn you: Like most dissertations, it wasn’t written for you (or for anyone, really) so lectorem emptor.